


bullet wounds can't compare // lams

by jefferoni (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Battle, Blood, Canon Era, Character Death, Death, Gay, Gun Violence, Historical, Historical Inaccuracy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Men Crying, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23574871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jefferoni
Summary: South Carolina is raging with war, and Hamilton and Laurens are at the forefront of it.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	bullet wounds can't compare // lams

**Author's Note:**

> A commission I did over on my amino!

_ pain.  _

alexander believes he knows what pain is. he knows how the pang feels in your chest, he knows how your head begins to ache and your legs fail to stand. he's felt a bullet wound. he's felt a punch to the stomach, he's been stabbed. he knows it all. all except this, this is a trivial pain he's never experienced before. 

he realises he doesn't know what death looks like. he doesn't know the cold feeling of ice searing a heart as someone falls to the floor. he doesn't truly know what it feels like as someone you love collapses before you. he doesn't remember any of these feelings from when his mother passed. he doesn't recall wracking sobs, or a scream of terror ripping from his throat. 

in this fleeting moment in south carolina, on the middle of a battlefield, time stood still. it stopped for brief periods, as he fell to the floor with a bone rattling thump. alex tries so hard to get to him, to run and hold him and tell him it's going to be okay. but alex is held in the tight grip of an angered red coat, and they're dragging him away. further than he wants to be. he's thrashing and kicking and desperately trying to free himself from the rough hold.

"john!" the name cascades past his lips and dances into the air, quickly being suffocated by the thick atmosphere. "laurens! you're going to be okay, i promise!"

"god, no, john!" alex struggles to push himself from the grasp, sending himself to the floor with one swift movement. he drags himself to his feet and charges over to john, who is lying helplessly on the floor. john says nothing but stares up at him, blank. his eyes reveal nothing he is thinking. if eyes truly are the window to the soul, then the curtains have been pulled shut for laurens.

soon his hands are on the wound, trying oh so desperately to subdue the bleeding, to keep him around longer. "jackie," alex squeaks, his vision impared by bitter tears that threaten to break the banks and spill at the slightest movement. he hasn't gripped john's hand this tight in forever. "stay awake," he pleads, "you gotta stay awake."

shaking hands reach up and john cups alex's cheek. the bleeding can't be stayed, and he whispers as he speaks, "lex…" he groaned out, eyes thick with pain, "hey…"

a ragged sob forces its way into the air and alex grips his hand tenaciously. "don't leave me…" he begs.

john smiles softly, and he coughs. "i'll be with you," he places his hand over alex's heart, blinking, "right here." 

the overhead fire was dying out in alex's ears. "you're not going anywhere, jackie. you can't."

_ "i love you."  _

john's hand went limp and his head lolls to the side. in that moment, alex knows he's gone. forever. 

he cries. heart aching a pain he's never felt before.

_ a pain more severe than any bullet. _

**Author's Note:**

> Find commissions here!  
> http://aminoapps.com/p/khybsq


End file.
